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Further
Reading ...
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Home Based Business Marketing - Getting the Word Out - Charles Fuchs
Marketing your home based business is vital to its success. So one of the first things you should do when starting your home based business is to develop a marketing plan. For your home based business marketing plan, you need to know what your...
Your Assumptions About Job Descriptions Can Harm You - Susan Dunn Marketing Coach
One of the worst things you can do is get in a “box” and this applies to job descriptions—or rather, what you assume someone else is capable of doing because of your misconceptions about their job description. Compounding this is the current thrust...
The Nigerian Scam - Richard Lowe
The Nigerian Scam letters - I'm sure you've received them in your mail and your inbox. This scam has been running for decades, and by now I would think that most people in the United States have received it or heard about it in one form or another. ...
The Michigan Pharmacists Association purchases gomembers’ ASA for pinnacle - gomembers Inc
gomembers, Inc., announced today that the Michigan Pharmacists Association (MPA:http://www.michiganpharmacists.org/) has selected a Annual Support Agreement (ASA) for their gomembers’ pinnacle solution. “gomembers, Inc. has designed our Annual...
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How to Get Insanely Rich on the Internet
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Written By:
Linda Cox
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Welcome to the Total Idiot's Guide to Internet Success!
Let's begin:
Q: How long will it take me to get insanely rich?
A: Depends on you. Probably two weeks. Some people take as long as a month.
Q: Does it take hard work or long hours to get insanely rich?
A: No. This is the internet.
Q: Can just anybody get insanely rich?
A: Yes. This is the internet.
Q: How do I proceed?
A: As you're surfing around the net you'll see banners and links that say things like "Make Fourteen Million Dollars in Ninety Days, Click Here to See How!" Simply click the link to get started.
Q: It won't really take ninety days though, will it?
A: Don't be silly. They just say that so you'll be pleasantly surprised and so it doesn't sound like hype.
Q: Okay, I've found one that says "Retire to Your Own Caribbean Isle in One Month!" Is that good?
A: Perfect.
Q: What does MLM mean?
A: Nobody really knows. Morons Lose Money has been snidely suggested by the little-brains.
Q: I signed up and now I sell low phone rates. They say it's the easiest thing to sell because everyone uses a phone. And since it's MLM, by the time my third level is operating I'll be making $345,915.45 per week.
A: Conservatively.
Q: They say the first step is to get my mother into the program. Why is my sponsor happy that Mom has Alzheimers?
A: Your sponsor is a shrewd business person. People with any sort of memory disorder make the best targ... uh, clients. You can switch your mother's long distance carrier for her, and then start calling the other members of her support group.
Q: That sounds a little fishy.
A: The ends justify the means. You are offering people substantial savings on long distance. It's for their own good.
Q: How else can I get new business?
A: Spam. Spam. Spam.
Q: I thought spam was bad.
A: No, spam is good. Anyone who says it's bad is just jealous because their brains are too - continued below ...
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continued ...
small.
Q: But won't I lose my web host and ISP?
A: In the get-rich-quick business, it's important to cultivate a zen-like non-attachment to service providers.
Q: What else can I do to promote my new business?
A: Here's a list of suggestions:
--Sign up with a free website provider and fill your site with zany colors and flashy banners.
--Join every free banner exchange.
--Get your own free-for-all links page.
--Join every opt-in email list with the word Money, Rich or Lackwit in the title.
--Buy software that submits your site URL to the 15,000 most important search engines.
--Buy software that submits your ad to the 50,000 most-read free classified sites.
--Buy software that submits your link to the 100,000 most popular free-for-all link pages.
--Hire a bulk emailer.
--Sponsor a golf tournament.
Q: Okay, I've done all that and I'm still not rich. I haven't even driven my hitcounter to its knees yet. What am I doing wrong?
A: It's possible that you're not very bright. Consult one of your friends who has retired on their internet earnings.
Q: What if I don't have any friends who have retired on their internet earnings?
A: Then contact someone on the internet who has retired on their internet earnings.
Q: What if I've never heard of anyone retiring from their internet earnings?
A: Well, then maybe you can be the first.
Q: You're pulling my leg, right?
A: Oops! Sorry, I thought FAQ stood for Facetiously Answered Questions!
Never mind.
About the Author
Linda Cox (J.A.M.G.) was born in a speeding stagecoach amid the screams of fellow passengers as insane, wild-eyed horses dragged them all crashing toward the brink of destruction. That stagecoach was the planet Earth, those passengers were the human race, and Linda Cox is Just Another Marketing Guru. (The horses were just regular horses.)
http://www.LindaCox.com/
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| _Additional Resources ... |
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Find The Best Tax Resources Right Here - Maria Marsala Business and Life Coach
Where can a business owner obtain tax information? When you don't know what questions to ask, it's very helpful to take some classes, and read a few articles prior to visiting with a CPA. Enjoy these resources: Internal Revenue Service (IRS) The...
Where should I start? - Chuck McCullough
I recently surveyed my newsletter subscribers to get some information on what areas they need the most help with. An interesting bit of information came out of the survey: A LARGE number of people online are trying to figure out where to start,...
Significant Uses of Variable Data Digital Printing - Kristine Llabres
Variable Data Digital Printing is also known as Personalized Publishing, Variable Information Printing and database Publishing which is employed to modify and adjust all the included documents within the run of digital printing. It is widely used by...
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