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Further
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Continuing Education Meeting Management the Focus of gomembers, Inc. participation at ACME Chicago - gomembers Inc
August 4, 2004 FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Continuing Education Meeting Management the Focus of gomembers, Inc. participation at ACME Chicago [Herndon, VA] --- Attendees at the recent Alliance for Continuing Medical Education (ACME:...
This Is A "No Real Estate Guru Zone" - Mark Walters
I am stunned when I hear that many of the so called real estate gurus are charging from $3,000 to $15,000 for their seminars and "mentoring". Has the world gone mad? As a real estate investor and author I am often asked if I can recommend these...
You Can't Afford To Be In Business - Bob Osgoodby
You Can't Afford To Be In Business by Bob Osgoodby We've all heard the old saying "Penny Wise and Pound Foolish". It never ceases to amaze me that someone will join an income opportunity program, but not effectively promote it and scout out new...
Finding the Perfect Part-Time Home Business - Joe Bingham
The Internet has created a whole new era that's added incredible flexibility to business. Through an affiliate program, you can now have all the power of a dynamic, global company at your backing and still run it from the computer in your bedroom. ...
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Dealing With Difficult People
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Written By:
Judi Singleton
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When we bang against a difficult person then It may cause us to lose our center. We may come across them in our own families,our customers in our workplace, a boss, just people who wait on us in a store, or they may even be ourselves. What you have here is a people problem. The solution comes somewhere between what you have and what you want.
When we bang against a difficult person then It may cause us to lose our center. We may come across them in our own families,our customers in our workplace, a boss, just people who wait on us in a store, or they may even be ourselves. What you have here is a people problem. The solution comes somewhere between what you have and what you want.
Usually the person we are trying to deal with who we find difficult does not see themselves as difficult.
Sometimes we can deal with this person by avoiding them altogether like I go to Safeway and I know two of the checkers there are unpleasant people so I just avoid going through their lines. Or another example might be like the driver who yells at you in traffic. Ask yourself how important is this? Let it go in the scheme of things it is not worth getting upset about. But what if these people are in our own family or our boss or coworker then this is not a choice. We then perhaps have only the option of changing ourselves. We already know that we cannot change other people.
1) We are not always willing to change ourselves to meet the situation. We say to ourselves why should I be the one to change?
Well, if you are wise and do not want to go through life getting angry and upset each time you have to deal with this person then you will change or continue being upset when you have to deal with this person.
2.) We can decide to just tolerate them. This does not work to well as people can sense that you are just putting up with them and they react to your energy. They are even more difficult. This kind of avoidance then only postpones the dialoge that might resolve the situation. Confrontation then comes after a lot of built up emotion and your chances of communicating will deminish. You end up spending a lot of your precious time and energy on a situation that is no win for anyone, you could be spending this time is some productive - continued below ...
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manner.
3) I think there is a third choice here. Try in your mind to switch places with this person. Turn the situation around and ask yourself how you would feel if you were this person. After you have rehearshed this in your mind for a while and come to a place of compassion then and only then approach this person and ask them why they act as they do. If there answer does not make sense to you keep asking questions until you understand what they are saying. In other words put yourself in there place and treat them as you would like to be treated. Here are some step by step ways to approach the situation.
A. Approach the person as if you expect them to want resolve.
B. Listen to what they have to say and how they feel, put your own feeling aside this is hard to do since most of us want to attack back or run away from conflict.
Cl Next acknowledge the other person feelings. Come from the heart and not the head. Use language like "You really sound hurt about this" Or "this really makes you angry doesn't it" this kind of dialogue has to be authentic if it is not the other person will sense it and get even more upset.
D. Finally ask open ended questions. "What would you like to see happen here." "If you could resolve this in anyway you had available to you what would you do?" Listen, give the person your respect and attention. This gets the situation on problem solving and rather than blaming.
If all else fails and sometimes the best communication fails try taking a break. Continue the discuss at a later time. Try ageeing to disagree.
However, if this is an ongoing problem with a friend or a family member. One has to ask themselves does this relationship enhance my life or does it take away from it. But before you end any of these relationships ask yourself am I dealing with a lot of difficult
people? What is my part in all of this? What am I getting from having these people in my life.
E) In the end you can turn tolerating difficult people to appreciating differences.
About the Author
Judi Singleton is a free lance writer and publisher. She writes ten blogs a week. If you would like to sign up for one of her blogs go here: http://www.motherearthpublishing.com
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| _Additional Resources ... |
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Problems or Opportunities? - Clyde Dennis
As best I can tell here’s how it breaks down. Some people see problems as opportunities. Understanding that getting through each opportunity puts them closer to the next one. Kind of going through life with a stair step mentality. Excited to get to...
Honey I can’t afford the kids - cashzilla
Sex has a lot to answer for … babies usually … which then, with time and much financial investment, grow up to be beautiful mutations of their parents. Yet as the family absorbs more money as it grows, the need for financial planning and protection...
Stock market, bonds, deposit account, cash, equities, unit trusts…few, just few of the ways of saving with ISA mortgage. - Natasha Anderson
Man has been known for continually simplifying things in his own interest. First he devised mortgage then several sub categories under it like buy to let mortgage, council right to buy, reverse mortgage. Then we devised remortgage. Then as the...
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