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Further
Reading ...
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Corruption and Transparency - Part II - Sam Vaknin
II. What to Do? What is Being Done? Two years ago, I proposed a taxonomy of corruption, venality, and graft. I suggested this cumulative definition: The withholding of a service, information, or goods that, by law, and by right, should have been...
What to Look For In A Home Based Business - Nick James
Home Based Businesses are a lot like nutritional products - everybody claims they have the best - so who do you believe. Well here are 10 tips to guide you through those murky waters. 1. Look for a home based business in the hot areas - like...
7 Ways To Profit From Other Peoples Products - Stuart Reid
If you don't possess the time, money or inclination to create your own hot selling product there is plenty of scope for profit by using other people's. In this quick article I'll detail the best ways to take a third-party product and use it to...
Is Your Business Safe? - Sue and Chuck DeFiore
Well, is it! Do you back up your files on a regular basis? Do you have a back up plan in place? What’s important to your business and what isn’t? What happens if you get hurt, who will run your business? Do you have customers come to your...
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Book Summary: How To Work With Just About Anyone
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Written By:
Regine P. Azurin
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This article is based on the following book:
How to Work with Just About Anyone
“A Three-step Solution For Getting Difficult People To Change”
By Lucy GillPublished by Fireside/ Simon and Schuster 1999
ISBN 0-684-85527-5
206 pages
“I just can’t seem to get along with this person!”
Every office has that one difficult person to work with, who affects productivity due to a terrible attitude, chronic
tardiness, or simply drives everyone else up the wall. Here is the answer to common problems in conflict management.
Dealing with negative behavior, whether at work or at home, can be solved with three steps:
1. Get to the heart of the matter.
2. Determine what problem-solving methods to avoid so you don’t perpetuate the conflict.
3. Choose a different, surprising approach to solve the problem and keep it solved.
Finally, here is your key to some peace and sanity in the workplace, drawn from forty years of research and
professional experience in consulting on the prevention and management of nonproductive behavior.
How difficult behavior is reinforced:
People use the same solution that never brings new results. The answer is to try something radically different. Employ a
totally new approach and choose your response carefully.
Why we fail to change negative behavior:
1. We are caught in the web of our own logic.
2. We don’t realize we are doing the same things over and over.
3. We can’t think of anything better to try.
This three-question formula can lead you to a new strategy:
1. What is the primary problem? Be specific. How exactly does it affect productivity?
2. What have you been doing about your problem so far? Identify the logic of your favorite solution.
3. What do you need to do instead? You need to undo what your ineffective solution did. Attack with a brand new set
of weapons.
Focus on the facts. Figure out what the heart of the matter is:
1. List all the issues affecting you.
2. Decide which issue or who in particular is bothering you the most.
3. Encircle the issue or person’s name on your list.
4. Focus on what you circled. List all the things that bother you about this person.
5. Now pick the problem to work on. If you could only fix one item on the list, and had to live with all the others, what
would you choose?
6. Then with the particular problem chosen, spell out specifically: Who is doing what that presents a problem, to whom,
and how is this behavior a problem?
The 4 ways to get bogged down in “whys” and therefore confused by superfluous issues:
1. Focusing on possible reasons for someone’s behavior
2. - continued below ...
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continued ...
Speculating about what the person is up to
3. Labeling behavior instead of describing it
4. Worrying about who is right or wrong
Use reverse psychology!
1. Do something unexpected. Sometimes shock tactics or being brutally honest works.
2. Encourage the person to keep doing what it is that is irritating behavior. It is strange but encouraging people to
continue their irritating behavior gets them to stop it.
3. Have fun experimenting with your new approaches!
4. Tell someone not to change what he is doing.
5. Create consequences or let the natural consequences of his negative behavior occur.
6. Urge someone to do the annoying actions even more
New Conflict Management Techniques
1. Do not offer a long list of reasons why someone should change. Simply tell them what needs to be done. The more
you rationalize or argue the more they will resist. You will be wasting time and energy.
2. In the face of constant criticism, silently take note of what is being said, then read the notes back – instead of
actively defending each point.
3. Make statements (“Unless it creates a problem for you, I’m going to do X”)
4. Give a specific compliment to the other party in a conflict. (“I like the way you presented your report – your lineup of
facts made it easy to follow”) It catches them off-guard and makes him/her less defensive.
5. Excuse yourself for a minute in the midst of a heated discussion to go to the toilet instead of escalating the argument.
6. Hold back for thirty minutes instead of rushing to fix a problem for someone else.
Other “happy workplace” tips:
1. Keep an open mind about why the person behaves in such a manner.
2. See both sides of the situation, not just yours.
3. Be very specific when analyzing the problem. Make a mental videotape of the behavior.
4. Notice when it isn’t happening. Understand why. You may have overlooked something you did that didn’t result in the
other person’s annoying behavior.
5. Find someone with immunity and see how he or she successfully handles the troublesome behavior that you’re
struggling with.
By: Regine P. Azurin and Yvette Pantilla
http://www.bizsum.com
"A Lot Of Great Books....Too Little Time To Read"
Free Book Summaries Of Latest Bestsellers
for Busy Executives and Entrepreneurs
Mailto:freearticle@bizsum.com
BusinessSummaries is a BusinessSummaries.com service.
(c) Copyright 2001-2002, BusinessSummaries.com - Wisdom In A Nutshell
About the Author
Regine is the President of BusinessSummarie, a web site that provide business book summaries for busy executives and entrepreneurs
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Paralysis By Analysis - Sue and Chuck DeFiore
Every day we get emails and telephone calls from people who want to get started in Real Estate. We hear, I am just checking out your program. Or, I’ve been researching for the past six months to try and find a program. While researching and...
Business Transactions in Germany – How to TRIPLE Your Success! - Marcus Hochstadt
Would you like to double, yet TRIPLE your business success in Germany? Do you consider doing business in Germany? Read on to find out what you can do to accomplish that. No, I'm not going to talk about "how to give a successful powerpoint...
How to Effectively Manage Your Time With A Home Business - Kevin Purfield
Are you spending too much time with your home business and not achieving the results you desire. Focusing too much of your time and efforts on your business and achieving poor results can have detrimental effects on your business, your personal...
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